Smith's 2 Month Check-Up

On March 9th, I took Smith in for his 2 month check-up. I was dreading the shots and hoping to get answers on his formula issues because he had been very fussy for the past 4 weeks but nothing prepared me for what they were about to tell me. I always have to get the latest possible appointments so that Corey can get home to watch Hayden so I never know which pediatrician I am going to see. When I first got there we had about a 10 minute wait, he got weighed and measured by a nurse and then I had to tell the nurse all of my concerns about his formula. By the way, I don't think he has ever got but one nurse who has actually listened to his heart correctly. I think all the rest just pretend and write down a "normal number" in the charts and it is really starting to aggravate me. The only reason I haven't complained yet is because the doctors turn around and do it again. Anyways, when the nurse left, a medical school student came in to exam him and I had to tell her everything all over again. Thankfully, she took notes and relayed everything to the doctor when he came in. When the student was going over the medical history and her exam results she had no idea what was on his head and chose to ignore it. So in front of me the doctor turned to her and said, "what is this thing on his head?!" She said she didn't know what it was called and I felt bad for her but she should have at least write down "knot" or something!! Anyways he felt of it for a good 3 minutes and then he asked me what the other doctors had been telling me. I told him that at his one month visit the doctor needed to consult the head pediatrician and had me call back a week later. The conclusion was that there was nothing that could be done about it because the hematoma had calcified (Hayden's dissolved on its own) but it was not hurting him at all and should be of no concern. At this point I was starting to worry a little. He kept palpitating Smith's scalp and walking out of the room to consult with other doctors. Finally he said we have to get a CT to see where this hematoma has calcified at on the skull because if it is on a suture line, which I think it is, we have to get you to a neurosurgeon. And then my HEART DROPPED!!! I could not believe what he had just said. I thought I was about to throw-up every where. He ran and printed me off a order form for an x-ray (we decided to do this first because it has less radiation) and then he left and a nurse came in to give him all of his shots (except Pentacel because they were out and thankfully I asked because she didn't bother to tell me! I just noticed that one shot was missing!) I forgot to mention that I am having a nose bleed during this entire appointment and my hands are covered in blood and wadded up baby wipes (it's always nice to have a little something extra going on during an already stressful time.) So then it was just me and my crying baby boy in the room all alone and I didn't even know what to do next. I quickly got him dressed and ran out to the car before I lost it. I sat in the car and told myself not to worry but I called my mom and I just started crying. I cried the whole way home and stayed in the car until I felt like I was able to tell Corey. I think that was the hardest thing I have and hopefully will ever have to tell him. The next morning I took Smith to get x-rays and I waited by the phone ALL day and NO CALL. So Friday morning I started calling as soon as I woke up. I knew we were waiting for a pediatric specialist to read the films but I wanted answers! Waiting was the worst part! I played every scenario over and over in my mind. Having a calcified suture means that when your brain starts growing your skull can not. This cause a multitude of deformities, pain, and death. I knew if it was across a suture line that there would be multiple skull surgeries and numerous hospital stays at best and I just didn't think I could be strong enough to see my baby suffer through all of that. It was the WORST feeling I have ever felt. I felt helpless and couldn't stop thinking about the worst. After many tears and prayers I finally got the call on Friday around 2:30 that it was not on a suture line and it was simply on a plate!! That's all she had to say and the biggest sense of relief came over me. I could not call Corey fast enough. I will forever be grateful to God that my baby is going to be okay and I feel so blessed! I don't know what I would do without him!!! So for all of you who prayed thank you, thank you, thank you! To know something might really be wrong with your child is the worst feeling I have ever felt in my life. I have a new respect for mothers who have children battling severe illnesses. I can not imagine the amount of strength and self-composure that one must have to get through that and my heart goes out to them all!

So, on a happier note my baby boy weighs 13 pounds now and we can switch him to a tastier formula since the Neocate doesn't seem to make a noticeable difference. He is healthy and will just have a knot on his head that will appear smaller as his head gets larger. It is not causing him any pain nor will we have to worry about it moving in the future. So he is just PERFECT!!!!

He has just started to smile and it melts my heart every time! He loves, loves, loves to sleep and cries when he is awake unless he is being held. Somehow, my children just come out spoiled! He sleeps best on his tummy and he loves to eat! He is so strong! You have to really hold onto him tight. I believe he could crawl if he wanted to! He is starting to hold his head up but he is still a little wobbly. I can not wait to watch him grow-up but I just can't believe he is already 2 months old!