80 Pound Asian

Thanks to my fabulous SIL & BIL, Angie & Justin, Corey and I went on a date last night! We went to have sushi at Nicki's and then we walked next door to a place I had been wanting to go to for a while, The Asian Foot Soak Sanctuary. It is new and it seemed to be just like a place I went to in Vegas where I had the best foot rub! So we walked in not knowing what to expect and with sushi filled bellies. No one else was there. But it was 6 o'clock on Saturday night. Only one lady could speak English. They offered foot reflexology and body works. Same price for one hour so we chose body works.

We were in separate rooms. Everything seemed normal...like a regular massage room. It was nothing fancy especially compared to the Spas we normally go to, but we didn't care. We both needed one SO bad. I hadn't had a massage since before I got pregnant. My lady didn't say a word. She just pointed to my room. I went it and undressed. There was no sheet to slip under and the lights were on. Oh well, I am sure she has seen not-tanned fat before. Before she started my boobs were already hurting. I like to have the holes to put my boobies in since they could bust. She comes in and the instant she touched me I knew I was in trouble.

See, I like to have a gentle rub that puts me to sleep. I tried to just take the pain because I had always heard that deep tissue massages were more beneficial. After about 5 minutes I was in a full out sweat. She didn't even need lotion. And I had lost an inch off my teeth. I was thinking, "OMG this is going to be the longest hour of my life!" I was doing my labor breathing exercises. I knew Corey was in heaven and that he was probably thinking I was dying in pain- he was right! I would say, "OUCH" and she would say "Don't Worry I Get IT". By the time she got to my butt I was practically off the table. She finally asked me if I had a wound on my butt! HA! I said YES YES wound! I thought that was my only chance. She kept saying, hurt now feel good later! So I just kept taking the pain. There was no music and all I could hear was her heavy breathing and grunting. A few times I almost asked her if she was okay and needed to take a break. She would say, I get out stress! I get out stress! And I knew as fast as she was getting it out I was putting it right back just thinking about what her next move would be! Finally she said, oh no not enough time for feet! I said, oh that's okay but really I was thanking God! I still had an open mind about the entire experience.

Corey and I laughed the whole way home. Corey said it was rough even for him. About an hour later I was really sore. At 3 am I could NOT MOVE. I had to take Motrin for the pain. Corey has bruises. I will never do that to myself again. I should have just let someone beat the shit out of me because that's what I feel like has happened. I don't think they are real massage people. I think they let a few people out of anger management class a little too early. The worst part is we paid someone to do that to us. Thank God she didn't make it to my feet. I probably wouldn't be able to walk today. I can barley pick Hayden up. It is AWFUL! I need several hot baths and a Morphine drip. That 80 pound Asian lady did a number on me. I have NEVER been this sore and neither has Corey. People who get that done once a week are out of there minds. So if an Asian person offers to give you a massage and can't speak English just run! Run as fast as you can in the opposite direction!