Trade-In

It's a bad idea to leave your house when the baby is already "in a mood"

-but she can't stay ill all day...right?

It's a bad idea to continue driving into Wilmington when she is already crying

-but don't long rides put babies to sleep?

It's a bad idea to continue running errands when she has a break-down at each place

-but isn't she tired of being home ALL the time?

It's a bad idea to go anywhere and heaven forbid she cry because everyone stares at you like you are a horrible mother.

So I found the solution. I made a bottle. I stuck it in her mouth. Everywhere we went. This kept her quiet. It was very difficult to shop, especially grocery shop with no hands since I was feeding her with one and pushing with the other. She wasn't drinking her bottle. She just liked it in her mouth. After all the places we went she didn't even drink an ounce. She would cry with the bottle in her mouth so I would take it out and then put it back in...silence. This was all well and good until we got in the car to go back home. You know if I only had those elastic arms like stretch armstrong it would have been a pleasant ride back home. But it wasn't. Full fledged SCREAMING the entire 30 minute ride home (thanks to 5 o'clock traffic).

I tried everything I knew to do. I cut the music down so she could hear me talking. NOTHING. I cut the music up loud to distract her. NOTHING. I changed it to a static channel. NOTHING. I used both mirrors to grab her binki and find her mouth. NOTHING. I hit every bump in the road. NOTHING.

But I think I have the solution to this too.

Tomorrow I am trading in the Escape for a two door pick-up truck!